adventures, mommyhood, disclosure

Thursday, 24 July 2008

spin me

I decided it was time to stop complaining about gaining weight that was mostly centered on my puson and do something about it.

So I signed up for spinning class in this relatively new place called Nutrifort (it sounds like healthy, fat free food noh?). Their main program is spinning and they also have personalized programs for weight loss. I wanted to try the Pilates but the only schedule available was mornings. My classes start today at 6:30.

I hope i don't fall off the bike cause i heard that there are sections where they make you stand while you spin (uh-oh).

It won't be so great if I brought sexy back.. with injuries.

(To be continued)

Wednesday, 23 July 2008

the rain is on in saigon

This morning when i woke up there was strange sound coming from our balcony door. I looked out and saw darkness everywhere at 7am. The rain was threatening to fall and the winds were just going wild out there.

The sky was lined with dark rain clouds like this:



I'm at work now but can hardly concentrate. I wanna go home and sleep! It's rockin' and rollin' out there.

It's only wednesday???

Monday, 21 July 2008

Mailer

A few years ago, my Uncle, R, gave me two presents for Christmas. One was a book by Gore Vidal entitled "Kalki" and the second, Norman Mailer's biography. Upon giving it to me he says tells me that the two were rivals for many years and I could read about it in Mailer's biography. Naturally inclined to chismis and controversy (hehe), I picked the biography.

And I got hooked. Hooked enough that I read it til 6am. My eyes hurt so much that I had to sleep and woke up at 2pm and started reading again. I finished it before New Year's and for months was obsessed with learning more about Mailer. I totally forgot about Gore Vidal's book and I don't even know where it is now. Their legendary rivalry makes for an amusing read, and one was actually documented in the Dick Cavett show.


Snippets:

"Mailer: You're a liar and a hypocrite...Will you apologize?
Vidal: I would apologize if it hurts your feelings, yes."

"A few seconds later, Mailer insults the guests and Cavett, calling them all intellectually inferior, then moves his chair away from the group. Cavett: "Perhaps you'd like two more chairs to contain your giant intellect?"
(http://www.reelpopblog.com/2007/01/sigh_youtube_me.html)

So, last June when I went home, I started sifting over my old stuff, mostly books to bring back to Vietnam because there was a shortage of English books here (unless you were still into the Mills & Boon types). I saw my Mailer biography book and brought it with me. It was time to read it again now that Mailer is dead, the experience may be different. And I got hooked again. His life was so colorful, dark,full or struggle and provocation. But what really emerges is his brilliance and wit that he has kept intact even at 84 years old, a few months before he died. when he granted this interview . After his first novel, "The Naked and The Dead" (incidentally it's a book which was inspired by his WWII experience as rifleman stationed in the Philippines),which cemented his stature as one of the great post-war writers at age 25. His next few novels and writings would receive mixed, even atrocious reviews. But those served a purpose for he re-emerged then as a voice of activism in the 60's & 70's and up until his death in 2007, he spoke strongly against the Iraq war and Bush, here. He would never give up on writing novel, though.

I recommend reading the book, and of course his novels and prose, to find out more about this legendary writer. It is one thing to read about the man, and quite another to examine the evidence of that great mind. He wasn't a saint, and his inclinations especially in the earlier years of his life were sometimes reproachful (he has been accused of being the first chauvinist pig). But who can say their own lives are beyond all reproach? His life, demands one to pause and absorb his genius. In the twilight of his life, he was having conversations with God and it is interesting to know how he has evolved from the timid Jewish boy from Harvard to his later persona as the egoistic writer, activist and journalist. I personally will make it my goal to read all his works if I can, starting with the early works down to the last one until his death. After that I will read his biography again and I'm sure that will be a different experience still (of course maybe I will be 90 years old by then, hehe). He was very prolific and leaves us a voluminous legacy of writings that can last us for the rest of our lifetime, albeit a few sleepless nights.



"No, no, it's not. There's one good thing about old age that people don't recognize. Which is that if you have a reasonable old age, as I do, in that you're not in pain, and you're not in terrible trouble emotionally with your children, or your mate, then what happens is you're cool. And you finally are cool in a way that you never were before. And you realize that you won and you lost, and that's just what happens to everyone else. They win and they lose also. And what you didn't succeed in doing, you didn't succeed in doing, so f--- it." - Norman Mailer, on being asked by a reporter if this is the worst time to be alive

Mailer, in 1979 would write his then fictional obituary for the Boston Times, and which they reposted here after his death. It will be read in his actual funeral in November 2007, 28 years after.

Friday, 4 July 2008

Sa Reposo

May 31, 2008 - Landing in Manila, the first item on my list was to go to the street fair in Reposo. It was theright decision, since it proved to have all the things i missed about home: art, culture, sisig, gigs(noel!), nice looking people, and well the language that was just comforting. The event was called "Piging Sining sa Reposo". It had been going on for a few days and that night the performers were the Makiling Ensemble, followed by Noel Cabangon as the last performer for the night. Simultaneously there were other stuff happening like mural paintings, body painting (for free), a balagtasan session and a ballet. Artsy stuff which is so lacking in Saigon and which I love!





I met an old friend too - Ella's dad, S, who has now totally claimed his artistic side was involved the event's production. He has had a few exhibitions around town, and my hope is that he will keep at it and be successful.



The night was a treat, and i would have been perfectly content just with Noel's gig but the Makiling Ensemble part was also enjoyable. I would bet on Filipino talent any day. We're not just a country of cheesy show bands and karaoke you know (though i find both entertaining, in limited doses)!




Now, a little bit of history: Reposo Street in Bel Air Makati is actually now called Nicanor Garcia Street, but most people have stuck to calling it Reposo. It means "Repose" (to rest) in English and the street is located just beside a cemetery which accounts for its original name. They have beautified the street and have made it into a street of culture and art where among its more popular inhabitants are Budji Layag (the designer), the Alliance Francaise, and LRI Design Plaza (where one could see all original filipino furniture designs mixing the old with the new).




Noel's last song was "Ako' y Isang Mabuting Pilipino", and he made us stand and raise our right hands, which of course made us think Panatang Makabayan!



It was something like that, and it is best to hear the lyrics of the song to fully understand it. What I have always loved about Noel's music is that it tells a story, often poignant, funny but always true. Just think "Tatsulok" and the bittersweet "Kanlungan". It's music that makes you feel and think and want to do better. At the very least, be a better citizen.








'lil gal is landing soon

June was up so quickly, especially the first week when I went home. Before I knew it, I was back in Saigon again missing home more than ever. Especially the 'lil gal I keep talking about in this blog. On my first week back here, she was literally hunting me in IM and getting mad when I didn't show up for our chat dates. "I think I'm depressed", she says. Yeah a 9-year old depressed over her "problems" as she puts them, one of them being the start of school again. :) What other problems there are she didn't want to share, but I was quite concerned that maybe she really is sad and not just overly dramatic, especially since her mom told me she had a crying spree for a day when I had left. So anyway. She's coming to visit me in July or August with my sister, J for at least a week!


It will be a lot of fun and I'm super excited to let her see my life here so she can be part of it if only for a short time. That way she can have fun memories to look back to when she misses me. It's an all-girl reunion I'm looking forward to this month!



(that's her obviously not asleep!)

***

It's July already! Can anyone believe how fast time is passing us by? Pretty soon 2008 will be finished and life decisions need to be made again. I wonder what I will be talking about next year?

Saturday, 17 May 2008

text me not

See, the plan was for a relaxing Friday to celebrate the start of the weekend (yay!). I had booked for a "Hydra" facial that would hopefully put me to sleep while they slather my face with very nice things. That was the plan.

I get to the facial place at exactly 7pm. They asked me to wait while they fixed whatever it is they fixed in those rooms (the dream music, lighting, the creams...). While waiting I fished my phone out of my bag about to text someone when I see 8 unread messages. WTF?

It said in all caps: "ANH HOA DA LAM UECHU". 8 times.

And then my phone beeps again, and out came the same message. And again. This happened three other times with the last two ones having blank text messages coming from the same number.

It was getting too weird and my facialist, KN has come out to ask me to go to the room and I follow her slowly while I texted my friend, T for a translation.

"T, what does anh hoa da lam euchu mean? Someone texted me"

"Maybe they send wrong number. It said: have u back home yet?"

"Ok. How will I text, 'U got the wrong number' in Vietnamese?"

"Go lon so roi."

So I reply to my Anonymous Texter (AT). Meanwhile I am now sitting in bed being instructed by KN to put on the robe and she will be back in a few minutes.

I was expecting a "Xin loi" (Sorry) reply from my AT, but instead I get this:

"Thinh Nhien hong anh". Ok, i was getting annoyed and tried to call the number but AT didn't pick up.

KN has now started to clean my face with water and nice-smelling soap while I tried to frantically forward the message to T and asked what it meant.

"It says he name is Thinh. But do not reply anymore. never mine ha." (lovvve my friend T she's cute. I decided to correct her spelling another day)

I followed her advice, and tried to relax (maybe even sleep) while my face got pampered. But noooo. AT would not not allow it. In quick succession, I received not 1 or 2 but 8,9... 10 messages from this guy who calls himself Thinh texting me things I do not understand.

"Ga oi chut hom nay bi mo con ga ban hang chnoa co khoe khong."

A few blank texts were inserted, but the rest basically had the same message as above. I was royally pissed and before I knew it the facial session was finished, while my AT was not.

Over dinner with L I receive 5 more messages. Some blank some with the usual gibberish I cannot comprehend: was i being wooed or cursed? Maybe it was a mistake to reply in Vietnamese, cause he is thinking I understand him. I try another tactic hoping he'd go away, and managed a lame,

" Stop texting me!". Which of course did not stop him. At. All.

Because even now as I write this (it is 10 am, the morning after). I have received three blank messages from him. Times like these, i just hate being in this place. Whoever he is, I hope his Friday was ruined too (mine wasn't totally - just the facial part!). My weekend is packed and if it gets bad i can always report him to the HCMC police or text him in Tagalog, words he will not forget. Nor understand.

Monday, 12 May 2008

welcome to the end of the weekend

You know Monday is here because...

- you get a little bit sad on sunday night knowing what lies ahead (it usually starts at 9pm)
- the alarm clock keeps ringing and you keep pressing snooze for more shuteye
- you're awake but don't really want to get up
- but in the meantime, all you can think of is the day ahead
- your arse feels so heavy, dragging it is an understatement
- somewhere bet half awake and half asleep, you get confused and think it's sunday (or worse, saturday)
- your realize you have an 8:30am appointment and you get up faster than you can say "late"!
- you make a run for the bus with your hair dripping all over your shirt.

welcome to the end of the weekend.

Tuesday, 29 April 2008

wanderlust anyone?

It's entirely possible that I have been sitting at the edge of my seat since the start of the month when I realized that there would be a light at the end of the tunnel. I'm talking about the impending holiday which starts in approximately an hour and a half, and getting shorter by the minute. April 30 is a holiday in Vietnam (Liberation day) and of course May 1st around the world is Labor Day. Friday is basically a goner, and I am one of thousands in this country who were wise and not work-obsessed enough to file a leave on that day. In fact, even today IS a goner when you think of it. I should have booked the flight to leave today rather than tomorrow but there are some things you have to do (or days you have to work), even if you don't see the whole or half point of doing so. It doesn't dampen my excitement in the least. In fact I think being stuck here while I am on complete holiday mode just makes the anticipation take on a whole new level. Time, time feels likes it's on slow mo - I've been looking at my clock and it's been stuck at 4:28 pm for the longest time! I managed a calm enough morning but right after lunch time, it just hit me big time. I'm going on a holiday! A holiday I badly, badly need, so much so I've been hearing Maddonna singing in my ear the past month (and it wasn't "Papa Don't Preach").
I had all this energy, and what do you do with excess energy? You make lists! Stuff I need for the trip:

  • Passports - check
  • Valid Vietnam Visas (cause we do want to return)- check
  • Plane E-tickets, printed - check
  • Bus E-tickets, printed - check
  • Hotel address - check
  • Cab driver named "Man"'s number - check
  • KL host number - check
  • KL host housemate's number (in case the host doesnt wake up when we arrive at 4am Thurs) - check
  • Maps - check
  • Itinerary - it's all in my mind, but yeah, check
  • Backpack - check
  • Extra bag for the shopping spree - check
  • Comfy but fashionable clothes - check
  • Snacks - check
  • Wanderlust - BIG, BIG check

I'm so game, it's insane. Now if only time would hasten up...

Thursday, 27 March 2008

On Living in the Present

We all need a reminder every now and then - I'm guilty of both, looking back at the past and worrying about the future. Have to learn to cherish what I have today...


"Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering."
- Ida Taylor Scott


Monday, 24 March 2008

Survival Kit

I stopped at the 40th post and didn't blog for more than a month. Since then, I have:

... had a few ugly Mondays

... had a few "I want to quit today and go home" days. And those weren't even Mondays

... had a few awesome weekends i didn't want to end

... had one drink too many

... discovered that Berrocca kills a hangover really well

... discovered the malicious and devious blog and got hooked

... woke up shaken from weird dreams

... wished GMA bad, bad things

... shook the hand of a Mexican client and almost called him Mr. Marquez (as in Juan Manuel Marquez)

... spent Good Friday eating meat (i forgot and was touring some from my family who visited)

... spent Black Saturday night swimming and then gorged myself with pizza afterwards

... took a few dozen buses and taxis

... found out some friends were leaving Saigon and got sad about that

... missed home almost every other day - counting only those days I was conscious about feeling it!

.. started reading "What Should I Do With My Life?" (thanks R for giving the book to L, haha)

... convinced myself I'd look for more things to look forward to

So on that last note, I booked a trip today to go away and indulge sometime next month (and forget about work and all that miscellaneous crap).

And then in May and June I'm covered since I am going home again for a week via the oh so cheap Cebu-Pac flights! A week is all I need - at least for now

I'm wracking my brain about what to do for the months after that to survive the rest of the year. I'd welcome any ideas to add to my survival kit.