text me not

See, the plan was for a relaxing Friday to celebrate the start of the weekend (yay!). I had booked for a "Hydra" facial that would hopefully put me to sleep while they slather my face with very nice things. That was the plan.

I get to the facial place at exactly 7pm. They asked me to wait while they fixed whatever it is they fixed in those rooms (the dream music, lighting, the creams...). While waiting I fished my phone out of my bag about to text someone when I see 8 unread messages. WTF?

It said in all caps: "ANH HOA DA LAM UECHU". 8 times.

And then my phone beeps again, and out came the same message. And again. This happened three other times with the last two ones having blank text messages coming from the same number.

It was getting too weird and my facialist, KN has come out to ask me to go to the room and I follow her slowly while I texted my friend, T for a translation.

"T, what does anh hoa da lam euchu mean? Someone texted me"

"Maybe they send wrong number. It said: have u back home yet?"

"Ok. How will I text, 'U got the wrong number' in Vietnamese?"

"Go lon so roi."

So I reply to my Anonymous Texter (AT). Meanwhile I am now sitting in bed being instructed by KN to put on the robe and she will be back in a few minutes.

I was expecting a "Xin loi" (Sorry) reply from my AT, but instead I get this:

"Thinh Nhien hong anh". Ok, i was getting annoyed and tried to call the number but AT didn't pick up.

KN has now started to clean my face with water and nice-smelling soap while I tried to frantically forward the message to T and asked what it meant.

"It says he name is Thinh. But do not reply anymore. never mine ha." (lovvve my friend T she's cute. I decided to correct her spelling another day)

I followed her advice, and tried to relax (maybe even sleep) while my face got pampered. But noooo. AT would not not allow it. In quick succession, I received not 1 or 2 but 8,9... 10 messages from this guy who calls himself Thinh texting me things I do not understand.

"Ga oi chut hom nay bi mo con ga ban hang chnoa co khoe khong."

A few blank texts were inserted, but the rest basically had the same message as above. I was royally pissed and before I knew it the facial session was finished, while my AT was not.

Over dinner with L I receive 5 more messages. Some blank some with the usual gibberish I cannot comprehend: was i being wooed or cursed? Maybe it was a mistake to reply in Vietnamese, cause he is thinking I understand him. I try another tactic hoping he'd go away, and managed a lame,

" Stop texting me!". Which of course did not stop him. At. All.

Because even now as I write this (it is 10 am, the morning after). I have received three blank messages from him. Times like these, i just hate being in this place. Whoever he is, I hope his Friday was ruined too (mine wasn't totally - just the facial part!). My weekend is packed and if it gets bad i can always report him to the HCMC police or text him in Tagalog, words he will not forget. Nor understand.