on time, or not

My horoscope had this to say to me yesterday (emphasis mine):

“Doesn't time fly when you are enjoying yourself? And doesn't it drag when you aren't? Time also seems to speed up when we want it to slow down - and to ramble when we wish it would rush. Can we conclude that time is not on our side? Time, ultimately, is an illusion. We treat it with too much reverence. We give it power because we all agree to pretend that it is real. We do something similar with money. In your spirit, though, you know something that matters far more. So, trust that and you will yet solve all difficulties.”

From where I was sitting, it was head-on. I was especially feeling time and its hold on me because a week ago I had decided and announced to the world that I was leaving this blackhole job. It became real to me that freedom wasn’t going to be instant – my last day was still a good month and a half away. Until then I still had to drag my arse (or what’s left of it after all the stress) to work everyday. A lot of the BS is still floating around and in fact I am seeing new versions of it too, if that was even possible. But I am relieved to feel untouched by it. People will always believe their own reality or deny it when something they don’t expect (or fear most) happens. They work around their own rhetoric, most of the time contradicting things they said/say then or now, to compensate for feeling dissed or humiliated when really they don’t need to feel that way. On your end, you know you’ve changed but maybe the rest of the world as you know it hasn’t, and now that you have there was simply no point in doing the same things you do. So you ask for freedom but realize it has its limits. With all that as a background, my attitude today is: they can say whatever the hell they want to say because I am gone, I just need time to cooperate.

Well according to that sage who writes the horoscope - apparently time doesn’t have to. How can it when it doesn’t even exist?

Now I know why some days seem longer or shorter than most. Moments float by carelessly, not timing themselves – only we do that. There must be something to that and I don’t find it hard to imagine that from here on I can start living moment after moment and not look at moments that are tied to hours, days, months, years. I’m freer than I thought I was and knowing that now is inimitably liberating. Besides, there’s more good news here: we are all ageless too.