The Truth About Cats

“People that hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life”. - Anonymous

What about those people who are scared of cats, they will come back as what? - Me


I've always been scared of cats. And because I was scared of them, I managed to run into them all the time.

When I was about seven years old I got my first scare when a black cat ran after me outside our house. I managed to get to a "higher" place, a lababo - where in my obvious panic and total loss of control - I fooled myself into thinking that a cat can't reach me there. When actually a cat can CLIMB AS HIGH AS A TREE IF SHE WANTED TO. A staring contest then ensued between the cat and I, while I shouted for my lola to come save me. My lola being the forever busy one running the house dismissed my hysterics as just another drama that could wait.

Looking back, I think the cat ran after me because I ran first and she was being a typical playful kitten. And I was being an un-typical little girl who should be loving any kind of animal at that age - mouse or cat alike. After that I would have less dramatic encounters with cats but that one goes into the books as my ultimate childhood trauma if there ever was one.

In college, my friend Donna had two cats named Oreo and Grey. Her cats lounged in her bedroom in the same way that we lounged in her bedroom feeling quite clever and rebellious that we cut classes. All my other friends found her cats cute; I didn't. I was scared out of my wits and found it totally unfair that the cats were ruining my free day. I almost went back to school if the cats weren't shooed away. My life would have been so much easier if only I saw those cats as a cute black ball and a cute grey ball, wouldn't it? But of course I didn't. I saw myself looking into the eyes (literally) of an old enemy and it wasn't funny.

Back home, I would ask my little cousin Leslie to go with me outside the dirty kitchen to see if the coast was clear. Cats might be there (lounging as usual) and I need her to shoo them away so I can pass. And as much as she feels important being asked to handle that task for her ate who was a good 20 years older than she was, she is also consumed with laughter as she shouts, "Scareddy-cat!". (And yes, she also watches too much Cartoon Network which explains her language).

Stephen King's novel that was also adapted into a movie called Sleepwalkers bothered me so much, not because of the incestuous mother-son relationship and the fact that they were monsters, but because of the scene where the house is draped with all kinds of cats. Dead cats. The tagline of the movie was "They feast on your fear - and it's dinner time". It's a lame tagline, but I have to say, the movie feasted on my fear and it was bedtime. And my bedtime was ruined. For days.

The other day I was about to take the lift in the apartment where we lived and suddenly I heard a cat meowing from somewhere and it sounded really close by. So I started looking around the place. I didn't dare look at the open hole above my head because the cat might be there peering with her, well, catty eyes. I didn't see the cat anywhere but I am sure I didn't imagine it meowing. Maybe it was a ghost cat.

Cats didn't just exist in my physical world but in my subconcious world too. I've had regular cat dreams for as long as I can remember until about a year ago when they came a bit less and then stopped completely. In my typical cat dream, they would pounce at me or run after me in attack mode. I would wake up believing the cat is there standing on my chest ready to scratch my face. It was a similar dream everytime.

Thus, a few years back when I read Kundera's "The Unbearable Lightness of Being" it was very significant for me when he described Tereza's cat dreams where she is attacked by them. It was implied that these were manifestations of her fears about Tomas' infidelities (In Czech, the word "cat" is slang for a pretty woman). If I were to delve into it and relate it to my life at that point in time, it made psense what my cat dreams meant. It just summed up all my fears - not necessarily relating to infidelity - but just the general feeling of being in a state of instability and conflict in life and relationships.

Which brings me to my cat dream the other night - the first after a long time. Perhaps it was triggered by the ghost cat episode, I don't know. Anyway in this dream I see bunch of different cats of shapes and colors and as is my typical reaction, I felt scared.

There was something different about this dream though, because if before, the cats were in front of me on attack mode, these cats were on my side and a safe distance away. I just watch them (still ready to run if they show any signs of attacking) when suddenly a small white cat comes and I hear myself saying, "Ito, cute". Cute? Was that really me talking?! And then in my dream, I didn't feel scared anymore. I don't know how the dream ended - maybe that was the ending until it shifted into something totally unrelated like most dreams go.

I find the dream amusing. In fact, I'm really pretty happy and psyched about that dream. Like it was an accomplishment of some sort, a growing up and shedding of old habits, looking at life with humor rather than drama, being more relaxed rather than responding with fear - you know, all that jazz. I also know I'll never have any scary cat dreams anymore. Don't ask me how, I just do.

The truth about cats is that they can be cunning and threatening, yes (to others cats can only be only endearing - to each his own). But how you respond to them is the more important thing. You may continue being stressed when an old fear creeps in; you can run and see it catching up with you OR you can choose to free yourself from the fear and move on. As with every trauma, there has to be a point of getting over, of redemption (and of wanting that redemption). Perhaps the key is also stumbling at that freedom at the right time in your life when things have fallen into place. When you are ready and a little bit oblivious to how things have gone for the better in your life. If it happens that way, it can only come as a pleasant surprise.

That's my truth about cats. What's yours?